I'm trying to talk. Like, really talk.

But no one wants to listen to me.

As we near the end of yet another year, I’ve been thinking about what non-essential things I want to continue into 2025 and beyond and I’m not sure this newsletter is one of them. The current biweekly list format came about during a social media hiatus. Instead of sharing things on Twitter and Instagram, I add them to a Google document and, once a week or two, share them here. And while I like keeping tabs on the fleeting things that I find interesting, I’m not sure how interesting this is to anyone else. Each post gets, on average, about 50 views. Not even all of my subscribers open the email version that is sent directly to their inboxes. Very few of the links I include are clicked on. I don’t share these dismal stats to inspire pity (from the 63% of you that will skim this). It’s just the facts, ma’am. I have limited time to explore creative outlets outside my day job, family time, and other obligations, and if doing so publicly isn’t yielding the community or recognition/validation that I seek, well, I should probably explore other avenues and start a private journaling practice instead.

But before I bid you all adieu, a final list of 10 noteworthy things from the last few weeks:

1. ICYMI, I finally finished reading through the 113 pages of blog posts from the 4 years I spent in Boston to attend grad school. I compiled a list of 10 key takeaways from that time that may be of interest if you’re contemplating art/grad school.

2. The family and I went to Alcatraz over Thanksgiving break. It was our second time, which might be a Bay Area resident record. That evening we watched Escape from Alcatraz, the 1979 film starring Clint Eastwood. I really enjoyed it but man was that the era of nary a woman in sight in films or what?!

3. Yep, it me, as the kids say! The idea of “multipotentialites” explored by Emilie Wapnick at TedxBend back in 2017. A lot of people seem really turned off by the term generalist. Is this any better?

4. I finally finished reading Antkind, a delightful but long and meandering first novel by Charlie Kaufman. It’s very much about filmmaking and movies:

   “IS THE RECORD the same as the original? And what of an art form that exists only as a record (e.g., a moving picture film), which may be a representation of a series of still tableaux but is understood in the brain of the viewer as merged together through time, due to the viewer’s brain being tricked by what amounts to nothing more than an optical illusion?”

5. One more quote from Antkind since I recently kicked off my second year as a high school mountain biking coach and continue to be intrigued and delighted by the connection between cycling (or maybe movement, more broadly speaking) and creativity:

   “It’s the same outfit I wear if on some odd occasion I find myself riding a bicycle in the park for relaxation. No spandex suit with logos all over it for me. I don’t need anyone thinking I am a serious bicycle rider. I don’t need anyone thinking anything of me. I am riding a bike. That is it.”

6. I know I’m sort of cheating getting 3 things from having finished this one book but it was a really long book! And I think this is fitting given the existential dilemmas of my public-facing pursuits, like this newsletter project, which is ending after today:

   “Certainly it is wonderful to be in a world where everyone is equal and nobody is special, but I come from a different time, a different land, a land of ego and ambition, of endless striving, of envy. These traits have burrowed deep into my being, and now that everyone is celebrated, everyone writes book and paints paintings and sings songs and everybody else reads those books and looks at those paintings and listens to those songs, I find my primitive being wants to stand out.”

7. To that end, the title of this final newsletter update is a quote from Jerry Maguire, one of my all-time favorite films. It’s from the scene where Jerry is sitting on the couch talking to Dorothy’s son, Ray. Yes, Jerry, I know what you mean.

8. Anyway, once I finished Antkind I immediately started Miranda July’s All Fours and it is as good as everyone says it is. Most of my reading time is in bed before I go to sleep every night and if you haven’t read it yet but want to I must warn you it’s not a great sleep aid. But I’m reading it much more quickly than I typically do, so that’s a positive, I guess. July has also started a newsletter here on Substack and I’ve subscribed, of course, but I’m mostly avoiding it until I finish the book in case there are any spoilers. Then I will read every word of every update. I would say I’ll share some fave quotes from the book when I’m done but I won’t be updating this newsletter anymore so you’re on your own there. Just read it. Email me if you want to discuss this or anything else for that matter.

9. You can also still fill out this form to receive a free art print or something comparable in the mail, from me, for free! I’ll keep the newsletter mailing list question for now and will add you if you don’t mind just in case I ever have anything newsworthy to share.

10. Finally, if you want to keep tabs on what I’m up to, don’t forget I have an outdated website, an infrequently updated Instagram account, and a podcast, the 2nd season of which has been in planning for over 5 years.

Happiest of holidays to you all!