Am I back? I guess maybe I am. This week, at least. I vacillate most days between near-nihilism and bitter outrage and it’s the latter that actually inspires me to put stuff out in the world not just to counter the negativity (at least a little bit in my own head) but also to add in a very small way to the somewhat limited voices in the general field of creativity. To that end, a few things I’ve found interesting over the past month or so…
A belated RIP to David Lynch. I can’t claim to have been the biggest Twin Peaks fan but I did see The Elephant Man at the probably way too young age of 7. I was very much a latchkey kid but my older brother was usually around to supervise. This was one of the first nights I was home alone and my mom and step-dad let me pick out two videos to rent and bought me a pint of my favorite ice cream to enjoy during my double feature solo movie night (mint chip…still the best flavor). The Elephant Man was one of my picks, alongside Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and honestly, that’s about all you need to know about me (that and the mint chip ice cream bit). The Elephant Man made such an impact on 7 year old me as I recall feeling so incredibly sad and horrified that a human being could be treated so poorly. Anyway, in general, Lynch struck me as the kind of guy who followed his curiosity wherever it took him, and I dig that quality, which to me is the essence of being an artist. He also studied for awhile at my MFA alma mater.
I finally read Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals. I highly recommend this book to artists in offices in particular who will no doubt be able to relate well to “the feeling of frustration at having to work a day job in order to buy slivers of time for the work you love.” Personally, though, this is the bit I’ve been thinking about the most since finishing the book:
We invariably prefer indecision over committing ourselves to a single path, Bergson wrote, because “the future, which we dispose of to our liking, appears to us at the same time under a multitude of forms, equally attractive and equally possible.”
And unlike a lot of books lately that seem to avoid being too prescriptive, there is a section at the end with actual recommendations for things you can do, like keeping open and closed to-do lists, and focusing on one big project at a time, ideally to completion.
Another quote from Burkeman:
How can you be sure that people feel so busy? It’s like the line about how to know whether someone’s a vegan: don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
LOL, I feel attacked, and yes, I participated in Veganuary and yes, I’m still mostly vegan.
Finally, in an effort to segue to my next topic, one (okay, two) more Burkeman quotes, this one about atelic activities/hobbies, which “pose a challenge to our reigning culture of productivity and performance: it’s fine, and perhaps preferable, to be mediocre at them.” He writes more in this section about Karen Rinaldi, who spent “five years…attempting to catch a wave before she first managed to do so…‘In the process of trying to attain a few moments of bliss,’ Rinaldi explains, ‘I experience something else: patience and humility, definitely, but also freedom. Freedom to pursue the futile. And the freedom to suck without caring is revelatory.’” Later Burkeman asks, “in which areas of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you’re doing?”
Okay, so I’m writing mostly about creativity, but, like my aspirational veganism, I will also remind you that I mountain bike from time to time as well (my “hobby,” I guess…indeed, to sneak in one more Burkeman quote, “to pursue an activity in which you have no hope of becoming exceptional is to put aside, for a while, the anxious need to ‘use time well’”). To that end, I’m now riding with both kids’ teams, successfully convincing my 12 year old daughter to try out the middle school development team (or DEVO, for short). Between DEVO and my son’s high school team, I’m hitting my goal of 2-3 rides per week most weeks and really enjoying riding this year (not that I didn’t enjoy riding last year but I’m slightly less terrified after a year and a half of riding). Check out a recent video recap of a team ride at nearly Lime Ridge Open Space (one of my favorite local places to ride).
And the thing about mountain biking in the context of creativity is I continue to derive inspiration way beyond the bike from folks in the world of cycling, recent examples including Hannah Otto’s webinar for the NICA community, key takeaway of which for me was thinking about resisting the scarcity mindset when creating SMART goals on and off the bike, plus Anna Yamauchi’s blurb in the announcement of her partnership with Smith Optics, in which she says:
Bike racing to me is synonymous to my creative pursuits…it’s about exploration and staying curious.
Heck yes to both of these badass women.
After I finished Four Thousand Weeks, I read a few essays in Sara Benincasa’s Real Artists Have Day Jobs, and buddhist nun Pema Chödrön is referenced in both, which is exactly the sort of coincidental thing that keeps happening. For example, I was recently thinking about Tom Robbins (I read several of his books as a young adult) after coming across sketchbooks notes for a painting inspired by the dance of the seven veils as described in Skinny Legs and All. RIP to a great storyteller.
I was looking forward to getting to the part of the bible where the dance happens, having finally started reading the one I was gifted 35 years ago (which includes a schedule for reading it in one year), but in early February I got behind in my reading by several days and quit. Maybe next year I’ll pick up where I left off.
I am so excited to see Freaky Tales, a new film set here in Oakland. Speaking of coincidences, the film’s co-writer & director Ryan Fleck studied at Diablo Valley College before moving on to NYU, which is where I went (DVC, not NYU) before transferring to Cal. Maybe we took classes at the same time? Probably not, since he had likely moved on by the time I started taking classes there in 1998, but it’s a fun near-overlap to consider. I spent three semesters at DVC, taking 4-5 classes each semester while working 32 hours each week at a suite of law offices in Oakland (wrote about that gig here). 20 of those hours were spent answering phones, during which I could study and do homework, but even so, given DVC is a 30-minute drive away, not sure how I did it!
Finally, for a little eye candy, I not surprisingly adore this painting/print of a pigeon on a bike by Caryn Cast.
P.S. in addition to resuming this newsletter, I’m also trying to spend more time in the studio, and I think I’ve finally gotten over the most recent hump of creative block and may even try to tackle this body of work as part of the 100 Day Project, which you can read more about here (starts Sunday for anyone who wants to play along). Stay tuned!
Welcome back! Missed your voice here.